C'est Ayiti

This weekend I have begun preparing for trip reports and presentations. I am finishing up my blog and trying to wrap up the last of my summer research data collection. This weekend, I tried to explain to a few friends what living in Haiti for the summer was really like. Fortunately, I am blessed with some great friends up here at Dartmouth. Both were patient and understanding when at certain topics and during certain stories I was at a loss for words. After all, for the last 3 weeks each time someone asked me "So how was Haiti?" I found myself giving the same, automatic, one-word reply "Good." I think that's because I am slowly realizing just how hard it is to put Haiti into words. To truly explain to someone who has never been there, what living in Haiti (even if it's just for a few short weeks) is really like. And even when I can find the words to describe my favorite (and not so appreciated) parts of Haiti, I am hesitant to share. I think that's because I also realize that not everyone is capable of listening to my stories and summer thoughts in the way that I need them to. A piece of advice I gave to all new volunteers that I worked with in Les Anglais this summer was to call me if they ever needed someone to talk to, but more importantly if they needed someone just to listen. Because as Dr. Abby put it so perfectly - not everyone understands and many aren't at that point to listen in the way that you need them to.

So for my last blog post I am going to try my hardest to explain how I see Haiti and how I see my summer now that I have had 3 weeks to reflect on and process it. When I tell you that Les Cayes, Haiti is a place that would often reach 120+ degrees F with heat index, you might ask - why would anyone ever want to live there? Sure there were days I was drenched in sweat, when I thought between the air conditioners at the hospital breaking and my wearing scrubs (which in case you are wondering - yes whoever invented scrubs clearly never worked in the tropics), I was surely going to pass out. Yes in my first week I got burnt by getting off a motorcycle (moto) taxi the wrong way and because I didn't have bandaids, I got creative on how to treat my own burn. Sure my apartment was bug infested. And yes, until the heaven-sent Les Anglais team brought me bug spray hand outs, there were night where I would swat bugs off me, until I became too tired and then I would just let the bugs (fleas, ticks, other louse family members?) crawl on me as I fell asleep. Sure there was the time (after a few weeks of mostly 2 meals of lots of rice each day) that I missed American cereal so much that even though the bowl had a handful of ants swimming in it, I ate it - ants and all (extra protein?). And of course, there were those weeks at the hospital and clinic where I saw more death and disease burden, than many might see in their lifetime.

But if those were the only parts you take away from my stories, then you forget that Haiti is so much more than that to me. It's more than the buggy, beans and rice (ok so mostly just rice) filled days. It's more than sending patients home with nothing more than bad news and a "sorry, nothing I can do." It's also been a summer where I hiked through beautiful rainforest, climbed part way up mountains, and relaxed on the beach. I got to cliff jump into the Caribbean. I learned how to dance compa when the doctors from HIC took me out to the discotheques on the weekends. I rode enough moto taxis that by the end of the summer I was riding them like a true Haitian - sitting sideways in a skirt and sans helmet of course. I was able to attend a wedding, a graduation, a wedding anniversary celebration, and sadly, a funeral visitation. But, best of all, I became a part of a wonderful Haitian family (see post on "Saying Good-Bye to Family"). I experienced so much in just 7 weeks, that it's hard to share all of my stories in my blog. And the overall experience? It was joyful and frustrating and sad and wonderful and miserable all at the same time. That's when I realized why it's been so hard for me to describe Haiti to someone who has never lived there for a bit. Because Haiti is so many different things at once.

There were certain situations that happened at HIC hospital that would leave the nurses and doctors that worked there at loss for words. Situations, sometimes unimaginable to those of us who live this sheltered life in the states. And when the nurses and doctors didn't have a good reason for why the situation happened, they would turn and look at one another, shrug, and say "C'est Ayiti." Yes, indeed, "This is Haiti." So I think from now on, when people ask me how my summer trip was and I am not ready to give the long answer, the one full of stories - good, bad, unimaginable - or I don't think they are ready to hear it, I think I will just tell them the truth. How was living in Haiti? "C'etait Ayiti." "It was Haiti..."

Dr. Cleonas, of course showing me up and working harder than me, even on my last day at HIC :)

He was a great mentor. As for the doctor and pharmacist below. They were so much fun to work with and I miss them both already. They took me under their wing and showed me how great living in Les Cayes can be.

 Miss Neptune ran a tight ship at the clinic at HIC, but she and I got along very well. I respect her for how organized she kept the clinic and how at the end of the day, while she was tough on her employees, it was because she really cared about the patients.

And then of course there is this little guy. My summer in Haiti definitely wouldn't have been the same without Baby Joseph.